Coaching - a new chapter

 2025 has been a "development" year for me. 

That's a really easy catch-all way of describing a year that has been more up and down than many in the past, has thrown up some serious challenges and provided highs and lows that have both surprised and inspired me. 

Don't worry, this isn't a heart-rending, wafty article on the way I discovered my focus and purpose revealing the true path my life needed to take and uncovering my inner workings in a raw and fundamental way. Really, it's just a comment on how working through some of the tough stuff can open up new ways to see yourself and recognise what you really want. And, ultimately, that is what has happened. I'm not writing this from the perspective of some floppy-haired guru, basking in the consciously unconscious glow of their own preciousness while drinking matcha teas and nibbling on tofu-crusted friendship cakes dipped in the milk and honey of humanist, spiritual kindness. 

For a start, my hair is short. For the rest... well, that depends on the day, really. 

I just wanted to write about my experience of the reality of opening doors I hadn't been prepared to even look at, and revealing a deeper want and need for fulfilment in a different way than I had even considered. 

It's not an easy path, until it is - which is a strange perspective and one I would not have considered a few years ago. As I have recognised more of what doesn't and hasn't worked for me, I have been able to reframe how I view my experiences and be more curious about what I really do want. And although I may use the same words as everyone else, each word may mean something different to how someone else may understand it. For example "success" to me means satisfaction, completion, self esteem, learning, growing, happiness, development and creativity, for example. It may mean something different to you. 

Seeing things a bit differently opened my eyes to my own experience of neurodivergence, revealing a real need to explore how I truly feel about things around me and my own behaviour. Gaining a better understanding of what things mean to me, I have been able to take steps that I have been unwilling to take, or even unaware that I even needed to take them. 

That is why I am now working as a Voice Actor and audiobook narrator, sharing energy healing as a Reiki Master, practicing and qualifying as a Life Coach and Voice Coach and studying Neuro-Linguistic Programming. There, I said it. I'll explain. 

One of my best experiences since starting my studies as a Life Coach with the Coaching Academy has been applying the lessons and methods to myself as I build my understanding of my own non-neurotypical self. In receiving coaching on a reciprocal basis from others on the course and practicing with clients (fully informed of my student status, obviously), I am constantly learning how to reframe my own past, take ownership of my own responsibilities and work on breaking the patterns of low confidence, fear of being seen, perfectionism and people pleasing. That's part of what it has all meant for me and although this may all sound like some sort of desperate excuse for a therapeutic trauma dump, but it's far from that. 

I have found that in working through the modules on my Life Coaching course, I am able to consider what is important to me. Not in terms of how it would affect other people (a novel position for me to take), but in how it directly impacts my knowledge of myself and reveals what matters most to me, makes me curious about myself, opens new perspectives and reframes what I have taken as negative in the past. 

Having received coaching from professionals and students, coached others and studied therapeutic pathways as well, I am more aware of the things I want, what needs are fulfilled or not fulfilled and how I want to proceed. Which is a first for me. 

You can put the tiny violins away now, they have no bass and the BPM just doesn't cut it! 

And besides, the path I am on now gives me a real sense of inspiration and excitement. 

When I record an audiobook I am always aware of the privilege I feel that someone will invite me into their space to tell them a story. They may not see it like that, but it's a really private thing to do, to listen to an audiobook book. And as a narrator I am very conscious that my voice needs to tell the author's story in a way that both honours the writing and engages the listener. 

As a voice coach, I strive to ensure that my students are engaged and empowered to discover new things about themselves and to practice and learn things that will help them vocally in whatever way they need; from public speaking and performance, to confidence in speaking their own truth, looking after their voice, breathing properly and creating a sense of personal strength and stability. 

As a Reiki Master, I channel Universal Life Force so that each individual I treat can build their own ability to heal themselves. Reiki can calm the nervous system, boost the immune system, engage the body to heal and help manage stress and pain through deep relaxation and powerful energy transference. Not even a smidgen of "woo" in that statement. It's true and I love it! There's also science. There really is!

And now as a Life Coach I see and feel the impact of coaching on my life and the lives of those I work with. Enabling and empowering clients to seek out, discover, explore and achieve their goals is a really exciting process and one which never fails to inspire me to want to do more. 

So there you have it. I started on this journey (dammit, I said journey. I tried so hard not to) because I didn't really know what I wanted. Now I do, simply by actually walking the paths that opened up. Some ended up in dead ends, others stopped at the edge of a big cliff and some made me feel like I needed to change everything. The thing is, I now know what I want in a way that isn't restrictive or unchangeable. It's what I want now and I know that it will change because life happens. How exciting is that? 

Should She Stay or Should She Go - The Truss Conundrum

 I almost feel sorry for Liz Truss. She is the focus of a level of vitriol and trolling that is truly heinous. (Much the same as most women and also people with different skin tones, really.) Everyone is laying all the horrors of this government at her feet and saying it's her fault it's all gone to shit. Mordaunt says we need "stability not a soap opera" while the rest of the party use each other as pin cushions - there's so much backstabbing going on - and all while making Eastenders look like an award winning sit-com.

Global crises, climate emergency, fossil fuel war, economy heading into recession...

I almost feel sorry for the PM. Almost. Then I remember she chose this. She's been a member of this hideous government/party for years. 12 years of Tories systematically screwing it up so badly that only a few, wealthy, disaster investors will gain.

I wonder who they'll blame for all this trouble? Putin, China, immigrants? It won't be their own lack of ideas, incompetence, brown nosing or longevity. It'll be young mothers with kids fleecing the state on £xx per week Universal Credit, not the shirt popping body slammer on £xxxxxxxxxM a year and whatever the government can offer in tax sweeties.

The lack of trust in this government is not down to the global economic or environmental crises. It is them and their behaviour. They are vile, compassionless, vitriolic, selfish, morally repugnant bullies. They are detestable. They are despicable. The damage they have caused is appalling on personal, social, environmental and economic levels.

However, we cannot afford for them to fail because their failure is our reality. So, we either need them gone, replaced by a competent, imaginative and truthful team, or (and i shudder to say this) we must put our trust in the NHS Death-eater that is Jeremy Hunt and hope that, although it will hurt, truth, honesty and reality will win us over and stabilise a country where the cracks are now chasms, fear is fuel and lies are the norm. To those who say, "if you don't like it then leave" I say this: I probably would if this government hadn't made it so bloody difficult and its people out as laughable but dangerous. But also, I don't want my country to fail. And I definitely don't want it to fail through greed, mismanagement, incompetence or klepto-rees-mogg-mania.

I want us to be proud of ourselves, our achievements, our strengths, our competence, our supportive natures, our collective acceptance of change and diversity, our inclusive spirit of entrepreneurial excitement and positive actions at home and abroad. But that's not what we are as a nation anymore. As individuals almost certainly yes, but as a nation we are small-minded, tight-fisted, arrogant, selfish, exclusionist little-islanders. And if that upsets you, good! It bothers the shit out of me! So let's do something about it. Hold every official accountable. Protest peacefully. Contact MPs and activist groups with ideas and comment. Just stop insulting each other, fighting each other, blaming each other. Our culture has morphed into some horrible self-centred negative relief of all that could be good. We have the chance to flip it around.

There's a difference between things being hard and things being "Tory" hard. Surely we've had enough of Tory hard, haven't we?

I like the idea of a PR GNU, spelt Proportional Representation Government of National Unity. Maybe we should try it some time. It couldn't be any worse than the massive pile of toilet paper-wrapped poo that's been set alight on our doorstep and all the government can do is stamp on it to put it out. All it would take is some water and a shovel, but let's get those Tory size 10s out and fling about some more flaming shit!

What, in God's name or anyone else's, are we doing?

There’s an interesting commentary on the go at the moment. So I thought I’d break it down.  And make comments of my own!

1/John Snow calls points out that a crowd was mostly white and gets shouted at for highlighting it. By white people. An issue of national interest should reflect the nation. Where were all those people from different backgrounds and ethnicities? Were they genuinely not there, or was it more a case of the reporting focusing only on certain areas? This is happening a lot. It doesn’t mean that his comments were wrong.

2/ Notre Dame Cathedral burns: A desperately sad event. In a fantastically generous move, millions of Euros are donated by rich benefactors (who all gain as a result of being associated with it) to fund the rebuild of a holy space belonging to a church which is worth over $30 billion.  Fundraisers call for money from all sorts of different areas of society. Even the US administration offers help and money. So, in the spirit of Christianity, many people are raising valid questions about why this money had not already been made available by the richest to help the poorest (Camel, eye of the needle… hypocrisy?). Grenfell? Puerto Rico? The Planet?

3/ Extinction Rebellion protests in London are being reported as disruptive, causing problems for motorists, being inconvenient for workers. Barely any reports on the National news, from the BBC to Sky, has focused on the reasons for the protests. There has been no debate or commentary about the validity of people’s genuine fears about the future for life on this planet during this process, human or other. Sky’s Adam Boulton accuses the protesters of being incompetent, middle class and self-indulgent, citing the use of the Easter Holidays as a stupid time to protest because Parliament wasn’t sitting. Holidays. Times when families have time together. Where parents and children have “time off” school and work. Where working adults have time to get onto the streets and protest! What better time to protest a global issue which affects the future of our communities. Hardly incompetent. Middle class? What does that actually even mean anymore? Everyone is involved. This is an issue that affects literally every single person on this planet, rich or poor. Self-indulgent? If calling for global change because humans are killing the planet and therefore destroying life is self-indulgent, then we should all be as self-indulgent as bloody well possible!

Reporting of events, acceptance of responsibility, delivery of opinion rather than fact is all being done with an agenda that is both damaging and insulting. We call for our children to grow up when they behave childishly. Perhaps it is time for adults to do that instead, especially since the children are the ones showing true passion.

Our constant language of conflict serves only to fan flames of mistrust and anger. It has become commonplace to fight for things, to go into battle to be a warrior for everything. Leave that on the sports field, not in politics. It does nothing to bring communities together, to further debate, to generate opportunity for innovation and growth on a personal and societal level.

Corporations need to accept responsibility for their actions exactly as individuals are required to take responsibility for theirs. We all know this. We all see this. But what do we all do about it? We wait for someone else to make a move.

Time to get real.

Without making a change, nothing will change. It’s not rocket science and it’s up to every single one of us. Write to your MPs, join a peaceful group, help in your community, reject plastic, reuse, recycle, react, get active. There are so many ways to change what we do to reduce our negative effects on the world around us. There is no need for violence. We just need sense.

Please, can we just have more common sense.

British people did this. Yeah. Us. FFS

Ah yes, so we're leaving, are we?
So, the current plan for Brexit would leave us worse off than as a full member of the EU. Farage wants back in, claiming there are too many lies and too much fear-mongering. Labour is apparently toothless and rotting from the inside out. The Lib Dems are providing the only real opposition but have absolutely no power base or goodwill with the British public; a British public which will fight itself over leaving Europe out of principle now, rather than sense.
So how are those pillars of the leave campaign working? Finance, sovereignty, immigration, maintaining the union... Trade opportunities (WTO, anyone)? Who was really being honest?
Campaigns for not only a vote on the final deal but another referendum are gaining huge support. And that scares the Brexit high command so much they want Farage back in a saddle he said he was sick of riding...and we all know the pedigree there - fisheries, NHS, self promotion...ooh, nearly didn't mention Boris - ah, there he is.
This is a complete shower of shit foisted on a public ill-equipped to make decisions those in power should be making. And yet, apparently, now it's the politicians who are screwing it up.
Oh, they have. Royally. Someone, somewhere, will do very nicely out of Brexit. (You know, the rich and the Rich-Smuggs.) The rest of us are about to find out just how bad this is. But we, the British public, did this.

Brexit - Stand by or Stand up?

It's been 2 years and I have still yet to hear a cogent and considered case for leaving the EU. I hear all the possibilities of potential opportunities formed of hope based on ideas of national sovereignty and disgust that we aren't treated in an even more special way by the EU than we are , but nothing that makes me think that there is any good to come of leaving the EU or maybe I missed something somewhere.
This is not about facts or cheating, lies or manipulation. This is ideological.
Have we paid a lot into the EU? Yes.
Have we got a lot out of that economic and political membership, from dispensation to special treatment to trade opportunities and the pick of expertise and employees? Yes.
Do we, as a nation, consider ourselves different and superior to the rest of Europe? Apparently yes.
Were we dictated to by the EU? Yes, but based on different agreements because of our status within the EU, along with every other member state. That's what happens in a club.
Were we lorded over by unelected European politicians? Nope. The MEPs were all elected to their various departments and parliaments, making them elected officials. Not by us, but then I didn't vote for the Tories and look where we are now. It doesn't make them unelected. They are many other things, but they are elected. 
The government is failing abysmally to negotiate with one entity and claiming the other side is being mean! How, in the name of all that is holy or damned, can we possibly imagine they'll be able to negotiate single treaties with multiple economic, political, cultural and ideologically different entities at the same time? 
At a time when we should be pulling together globally, not just nationally, the media that apparently is promoting liberalism and a hatred of democracy to fight (oh god, "the will of the people") Brexit is also fanning the fires of fascism and right wing nationalism, along with everything that entails. Thus dividing all the good that we can do in the most destructive way. 
This is an ideological war couched in political rhetoric presented by agenda-led media, no matter what side you are on, whether by design, belief, background, education or coin toss.
Changing my mind will not happen by berating me for refusing to accept something I believe to be utterly wrong or insulting me because I don't think what you want me to think. 
Insulting me is not going to work. Pleading won't work. Providing me with a plan for the future, workable opportunities that enable us to work beneficially with others in a way that will not see us manipulated and abused because of need or expediency, greed or panic is the way to go. But I see none of that.
I have been and always will remain open to the possibility that, regardless of how I voted, we will not simply survive this but thrive. However, nothing about the decision, the negotiating team and government or the current economic and political environment lead me to believe leaving the EU is anything other than utterly wrong.
I look forward to being proved mistaken, but until I am, I will fight this decision with the exact same determination that those who voted for it have to pursue closure. Not because I am undemocratic but precisely because I am truly democratic.
The decision is one that has highlighted massive ideological differences around the United Kingdom and whether we leave with a soft, hard or non existant deal isn't going to make any kind of difference to the divisions that are starker and potentially more damaging than they have ever been.
Leaving Europe won't give us the government we need, political change will. And not simply another party in charge but a shift in the manner in which politics is structured and the way in which we engage with it. Social media has given people voice without responsibility, information without substance, opinion without fact. And, as with this "essay", an easy way to speak our minds. 
Change is inevitable. We need to find a way to ensure that change benefits everyone, not just the few currently manipulating things to their own ends. 
Leaving the EU will be very good for some and increasingly hard on everyone else. But it will be as nothing if we cannot resolve the ideological fracturing of this great nation.
I haven't written this without hope or to ridicule what I think is wrong, rather with determination to stand for what I believe and the hope that we will thrive.
There's giving someone a chance and there's not standing by when it looks like it's all going to pot.
Where do you stand? Chance or pot?

MY - July 2018

Marathon is Snickers. And Snickers is Marathon. Opal Fruits are not Starburst.

A midday musing:

I suddenly find myself at odds with my own political, emotional and mental standpoints.

The only absolute certainty is the division that now exists between families, friends, communities, societies, nations and globally.

I hadn't realised that I had been manipulated to such an extent that I am prepared to stand up and argue at myself.

It either means I have reached parity (unlikely), satiety (probably) or just cannot be arsed (I really hope not!).

Brexit is a desperate and stupid mistake founded on flawed, "alternative" grounds and mismanaged by both sides of the argument. And yet we have no choice but make the best of it and we will, not because of an arrogant belief in our own superiority and power within the global market place, but because we will have to. It is going to hurt. We have to make it work. But we must ensure that the democratic process is followed - so, yes, Parliamentary oversight is the very least that is required. It will happen. We must ensure that those in charge are held to account.

Trump is a dangerous narcissist hell bent on personal gain at all costs. No, America, he's not in it for you, he's in it for Trump! And he is being allowed to get away with it all. So he must be challenged, forced to explain himself, required to be accountable. Just because he says it, doesn't mean it's true. So, whether you beat the Trump rhythm or bang a different beat, you have to question him, just as you did with Obama. He's not the Messiah, he's a manipulative ingrate born into the elite that you apparently voted to remove from power.

The powers that be have manipulated their populations to such an extent that "divide and conquer" has never been truer. If we turn on each other the way we are being coerced to, we will simply follow wherever they want us to go. Worst case, each "side" will be radicalised to their own potent ideologies. And that is something that I find utterly reprehensible and truly scary. The ultimate manipulation will be that of a 1930s Germany, reshaped to believe whatever the ruling force wants. If that is to happen, it must happen against forceful debate, not violent conflict. It must happen in law and in peaceful protest, not rabid rioting and vitriol.

And maybe, just maybe, good things will happen for the majority. But unless those in power are hungry enough to do it for all of us, only a few will benefit. We must make them hungry. Not the other way round. Not like they're doing right now.

Awesome BOO HOO. Theatre on the Camden Fringe

Boo Hoo - written and performed by Judith Faultless at the Hen And Chickens Theatre, on the Camden Fringe, 2016 (16-8-16)

The Hen and Chickens is a very intimate theatre, perfectly formed for honesty and individualism; there is nowhere to hide. Judith Faultless doesn't even try to!

From her opening, “awkward”, pub scene she was never going to avoid the painful reality of modern life as a single woman. No spoilers, but even the harshest of moments lend themselves to gentle comedy with raucous laughs.

Just in case you might be worried, this is not a diatribe against the unfairness and judgmentalism of society and family. It is a wonderful affirmation of humanity, individual strength, becoming a mother, silly hats and Lego!

Hanging out her metaphorical washing line of nonchalance and passion, Judith races through the complications of coming to terms with age, expectation, failure and fear with a humour that is immediately engaging and heartfelt. The audience was not just drawn in  but became a part of her, sometimes, hysterical narrative and laughter was ever-present.

Except when it wasn't. There are moments that catch the audience both unaware and expectant all at once. Her honesty is at times uncomfortable but she never shies away from it.

Adoption is not an easy topic, especially with the stigma attached to anything bearing the “local authority” tag, but social workers and councillors come in for truckloads of comic… praise. And rightly so.

Throughout her performance, Judith  switches from certainty to insecurity with uncomfortable and totally believable ease. The mania that surrounds the life changing decision to adopt is sensitively dealt with, and extremely funny. Audience members were left in tears and hysterics.

Judith’s constantly self-deprecating, extremely funny insecurity is as much an indictment of the society in which we live as it is ultimately shown to be a comfort blanket with which she surrounds herself.

It's brilliant. So is Judith.

I don't do spoilers. Just go and see it!

Last show on Wednesday 17th August at 7.30pm at the Hen And Chickens Theatre.

Tickets available from: http://camdenfringe.com/show.php?acts_id=551

Go and see it. Seriously. GO!